1. Boil the kettle with no water in it…We have all been lead to believe that this will cause the kettle to explode. Nobody has ever tried it so whether or not this is true remains to be seen but the fear alone of doing this is enough to always pick up the kettle and give it a shake before you boil it.
2. Never let the fire go out…. It is seen as a sign of laziness. “You couldn’t even keep the fire going”. It is almost seen as an act of pure selfishness. This might seem a little dramatic but it is true. You will never be able to own your own house or live alone if you can’t simply “throw a few briquettes on the fire”
3. Make tea for yourself without offering the rest of the family tea. It may not be commented on and you may think you have gotten away with it but it is noted in your families mental notes. Irish people hold grudges that can last a lifetime. You will slowly but surely notice you are being excluded from the tea round. Unless it is your mother. Irish mothers always offer tea to their offspring (especially a son), no matter how many times they have been excluded. Ahhhhh bless!
4. Throw your dinner in the bin… Whether it be a lot or a little. Growing up on a farm there is always a hungry animal out the back that will eat your leftovers. Whether it has fallen on the ground or didn’t taste right. It is just something you don’t do!
5. Let the heat get out…. You walk into a room and don’t close the door behind you in the middle of winter. This kind of act can be punished with anything from a mouthful of abuse to a slap on the side of the head, depending on how close you are to the offended party.
6. Leave the curtains pulled later than 9 o clock in the day. “They’ll think we’re sleeping all day”. I was never quite sure who “they” were but to leave the curtains pulled late into the morning is a definite on this list. It is seen as another act of laziness (see point 1)
7. Leave the immersion on. Holy Jaysus, this one is just blatant disregard! Again, your parents see this as an act of pure laziness. Your parents will start to question you on where you think money comes from and informing you that money is not something that grows on trees.
8. Eat a sandwich without a bag of crisps. Whether you’re a King or a Tayto kind of person. You could eat the most fulfilling sandwich ever created but it just doesn’t hit the spot quite like it would if you had a packet of cheese and onion to go along with it!
9. Never question what your father is doing out in the garden. He may be digging holes in a symmetrical fashion that are exactly three foot apart but never ask why. You won’t get an answer. The reason being, there is no answer! “Leave him off, sure he’s happy” is the answer my mother would regularly give us!
10. Change the channel when your mother is watching Coronation Street. I have friends who are still suffering from the abuse they were subjected to when they unknowingly changed the channel in the middle of Coronation Street.